So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
