Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize