u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
