you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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