it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
