is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
