Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I bet he comes in French.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
