I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
