her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
