she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There r osticjed everywhere
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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