He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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