We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
