shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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