Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
