At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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