i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
