i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
