I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
operation have a gay friend backfired
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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