he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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