I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
