epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
