Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
