All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
