Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
