why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize