What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
