OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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