Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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