No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize