I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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