You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
