I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
