We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
