Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
