Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
