so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
