i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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