Don't make out with my wife yet
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
