dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
