i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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