Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
