Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
