he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
