Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
