what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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