I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
