It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize