I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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