so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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