im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But break dance skills will only take you so far
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
