You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
