So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
