i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
