i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
