he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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