can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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